


decades

by chuwaeyo



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Army, F/F, Light Angst, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reunions, but yknow, i dont really know what else to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-02-29 22:47:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18787807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chuwaeyo/pseuds/chuwaeyo
Summary: Pairing: Natasha Romanov x ReaderAnon Req: Hi there! Me again. I was hoping you could a Wanda or Natasha x Reader Angst. A little twist is that the reader is in the military, perhaps you can add to it please and thanks. Anonymous please and thanksThe reader goes on their deployment and comes back, but they’re not sure what to do when they come back because something happened during the deployment or had a realization of some sorts.Warnings: mentions of ptsd/war/etc





	decades

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: i have friends and family in rotc/various military stuff but I am not so I could be completely off pls forgive me pals also I’m ahalsdkjfh dead
> 
> also if u don't follow me on tumblr!! currently another followers celebration is happening! requests will be open until may 31/June 1!! prompt list is on my blog and you know the drill lol

It was a long ten years before you finally found yourself back home.

Ten years of letters and video calls.

_Ten years of promises._

Ten years of compartmentalizing every little thing you did overseas.

Ten years of thinking of her every night and having her wait for you.

Or, more accurately, the person she loved, aka the person you _used to be_ , the person that could smile and look at themselves in the mirror without feeling sick.

From the moment you stepped off the plane, to the moment you found yourself gripping your bags awkwardly outside your door - her door, you couldn’t help that wretched, haunting feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“Hey, stranger,” her voice was what snapped you out of the daze, a gentle hand caressing your cheek, proof that you were finally home, finally safe from all the fighting. “Get lost along the way?”

The corners of your lips quirked up in a small smile, leaning into her touch and the embrace she pulled you into. “Stormy seas and skies may try to keep me from you, but I’ll always find my back to you, even if I had to crawl.”

Natasha let out a small laugh before unwrapping herself from you, pulling you inside, eager to make up for all the lost time.

Not to say you didn’t feel the same.

But it all felt wrong.

_Like you didn’t deserve any of it._

You spent the first few days alone together, binging all of the “must-see” movies and eating all of your favorite meals, getting updated on everyone’s lives while you were gone.

It felt nice -

Like you could have a regular life again.

But you knew it was far from reality for you.

Once everything calmed down and everyone had their fills of reunions and smiles, it all came flooding back, the dreams and shadows that haunted your every movement before coming back to her.

Each night, when you closed your eyes, you were back in the trenches, you were back in the front lines, back to staring death in the face and praying that you wouldn’t be next.

Every single time.

Without fail.

Each time you closed your eyes you found yourself in the midst of your worst fears all over again.

Each time you found yourself waking up in a cold sweat, gripping the closest thing resembling a weapon to your chest, ready to strike.

_“Hon-”_

Natasha’s voice shocked you more than it should have, it’s usual calming effect nowhere to be found at the moment, jumping out of bed and aiming the lamp, ready to strike if you needed to.

There was a split second where fear flashed on her face before you snapped out of it, dropping (and breaking) the lamp, backing out of the room with a lowered head before she could say anything.

_And like all those times before, you ran._

Ran like hell until the fire in your lungs hurt more than the things that threatened you at every corner.

Except instead of explosions, guns, and bloodied screams echoing around you, it was only the sound of your footsteps, and hers a few feet behind you, yelling in your direction, begging you to stop.

It wasn’t until you were numb from the tears and stinging on your bare feet that you stopped, one last plea from her stopping you in your tracks.

“I - I’m sorry, I thought I was okay. I’m supposed to be okay.” As you dropped to your knees on the side of the street, you let Natasha wrap her arms around you, an uncontrollable flood of sobs ripping from everything you held in. “I wanted to be okay.”

And all she could do was pull you a little tighter, trying to hold you together as best she could.

Even after ten long years.


End file.
